ESL Playhouse: Food for Thought by Juliet Charles
English Level: Advanced - English idioms.
Study English idioms. One day David's mother invites herself to dinner. Big problem, David can't cook! Maybe his friend Sam can help - then again maybe not! This hilarious one act play is acted by English teacher, John Bright and two of his students.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Heni and Norito are flatmates. Sam is a native speaker friend who visits occasionally.
Heni: How were your English studies today, Norito?
Norito: Ok Heni. I’m trying hard to practise my pronunciation. But it’s difficult as I have to work too. So I am very busy.
Heni: Yes, it’s lucky that Sam found you that job at the Pizza parlour where he works.
Norito: It is a very good place for me to practise my English. And Sam tells me when I make a mistake. Oh, Heni, I think I am in love with Sally the waitress.
The phone rings:
Heni: Norito, the radio, turn it down.
Heni answers phone.
Heni: Hello, hello? Yes, I will get him.Your mother is on the phone from Japan.
The following conversation is spoken by Norito in his native language, but the gist of it is:
Norito: Hello. Yes, I am well. Pardon? You are coming to Melbourne? How long will you stay? Oh, you have a hotel. But you want to come to dinner with us on Saturday night? Yes, of course we will cook you a meal. What time? We will see you at 7.00 pm. Goodbye.
Doorbell rings. Door opens and Sam enters.
Sam: Hi guys. How’s it going?
Norito: Sam. I am so worried. My mother is coming for dinner on Saturday night. She thinks I can cook but I cannot. What will I do?
Sam: Don’t worry. “It’s a piece of cake!” Just do something easy and “she’ll be apples”.
Norito: Pardon? I said I did not know how to cook.
Sam: “Oh, you’re just chicken!” You can do it!
Norito: So I cook chicken, apples and a cake?
Sam: What? Listen, I’ve got to hurry. I’m going out.
Norito: Would you like to come to dinner on Saturday Sam?
Sam: I don’t know, I’ll try. – I may have to work. “I’ve got to earn my bread”
Norito: Bread….? (Shyly) Sam, I like Sally at work. Should I ask her out?
Sam: Norito, a word of advice, “Don’t mix your jam with your bread and butter”. Be careful – don’t forget, “it’s a plum job”.
Norito: I don’t understand. But I think Sally likes me. She said I had nice eyes.
Sam: “Are you fishing for compliments”? Mate, take it slowly. But I agree. “She’s a real honey”. “I’ll try to butter her up” for you. But I won’t be “too sugary”.
Norito: Maybe Sally likes Jason
Sam: Maybe. “He looks really beefy”, but I think she likes slim guys.
Heni: I’m worried that the flat is too cold. Should we get the heater fixed?
Sam: Nah, it’s working fine. “I’m as warm as toast”. By the way, Norito, what’s your mum like?
Norito: She is very shy. She doesn’t talk much
Sam: Oh, “as quiet as a lamb” is she? “well that’s just ducky”. We’ll have to provide some entertainment.
Heni: What will we do when Norito’s mother is here?
Sam: Well, after dinner you could have a “jam session”. Norito, you have your guitar and Heni, you can play drums. If I can come over, I’ll sing.
Norito: I think this will all be very hard.
Sam: Listen Man, you worry too much. By the way, don’t go to see “Hannibal”. “It’s a real turkey”. Well, I’ve got to go. I’m going out tonight. See you later; Norito - “come on old bean”, it’ll be fine! Bye Heni
Sam goes out. Sound of door opening and closing.
Heni: Norito, I am very confused. What did Sam say? We should have cake, apples, chicken, bread and jam for dinner on Saturday - what else? Oh yes, and plums – fish, honey, and sugar.
Norito: And Beef, toast, lamb and duck – oh, and turkey and beans.. Heni. I can’t cook AT ALL! And I have not got enough money for all this food. Help, what will I do?
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